{"id":1367,"date":"2009-07-08T12:12:28","date_gmt":"2009-07-08T19:12:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/2009\/07\/08\/mid-season-awards-part-1\/"},"modified":"2009-07-08T13:01:45","modified_gmt":"2009-07-08T20:01:45","slug":"mid-season-awards-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/2009\/07\/08\/mid-season-awards-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Mid-Season Awards, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

We’ve reached the halfway point of the season and it’s time to dole out some awards.\u00c2\u00a0 Jack Bauer and the rest of “24” help the writer out.<\/em><\/p>\n

After a surprisingly tense and well-executed World Baseball Classic got us talking about baseball a short time before the inception of the 2009 season, we saw some surprising headlines early, such as \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Pirates have a good pitching staff\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Nationals can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t spell their team name correctly.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 Recently, though, the 2009 season has returned to a semblance of normalcy.\u00c2\u00a0 In the American League, Boston, New York, and Tampa will battle through the second half for supremacy in the East; Detroit, Minnesota, and Chicago will do the same in the Central; and the Angels, despite injuries and a shockingly ineffective bullpen, have climbed back to the top of the West.\u00c2\u00a0 In the National League, the Phillies and Dodgers sit atop their respective divisions, while the Central remains a quagmire between the Cardinals, Cubs, and Brewers.<\/p>\n

Similarly, after the surprisingly thrilling and heart-wrenching \u00e2\u20ac\u015324: Redemption\u00e2\u20ac\u009d convinced me to rethink my position of leaving \u00e2\u20ac\u015324\u00e2\u20ac\u009d off my DVR, Jack Bauer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s seventh day-long escapade offered some genuinely exciting twists and shocks early: compelling characters, a new threat from a fictional war-torn African nation, and Tony Almeida!\u00c2\u00a0 Then, around hours 12-15, the show returned to its own normalcy: predictable revelations, over-the-top melodrama, and totally unnecessary storylines involving Kim Bauer.<\/p>\n

As we head into the All-Star Break, here are some mid-season awards, ripped from the headlines of season seven of \u00e2\u20ac\u015324.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

The Tony Almeida \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Least surprising surprise\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Award<\/strong> goes to the Los Angeles Dodgers.\u00c2\u00a0 At the beginning of the season, the producers brought fianc\u00c3\u00a9e favorite Tony Almeida back from the dead.\u00c2\u00a0 They did everything they could to conceal Tony\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s actual allegiances.\u00c2\u00a0 I got a hold of his to-do list for the day:<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Pretend to be a bad guy,
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Pretend to be a good guy
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Be a good guy with reservations
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Be a good guy that gets kidnapped
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Get saved by a bad guy pretending to be a good guy that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s actually still a bad guy
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Be a good guy
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Destroy bad guys\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 plans
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Get arrested
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Hope other bad guy escapes and that I happen to be in the same helicopter as director of FBI as he chases escaping bad guy
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Bad guy shoots FBI director, doesn’t kill him
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Reveal you’re a bad guy and kill FBI guy
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Tell Jack you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not really a bad guy but that you won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t follow the law
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u00a2\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Kill other bad guy, get away scott-free.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/a>The only point that Tony didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t accomplish was the last one.\u00c2\u00a0 Jack shot him in the leg.\u00c2\u00a0 However, it was clear from the first moment he showed up that he wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t going to be on Jack\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s side at the end of the day.\u00c2\u00a0 Anybody with that facial hair has to be a double agent.<\/p>\n

Along the same lines, eveyone seems shocked that the Dodgers have the best record in the league.\u00c2\u00a0 When you build a lineup that includes Manny Ramirez, Matt Kemp, Andre Ethier, James Loney, Orlando Hudson, Rafael Furcal, Casey Blake, and Juan Pierre as a utility guy; and combine it with a pitching staff of Clayton Kershaw, Chad Billingsley, an over-performing Randy Wolf, Hiroki Kuroda, and Jonathan Broxton on the back-end; what is so surprising when that team succeeds?\u00c2\u00a0 Add Joe Torre\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s evenness and sense of calm, and L.A.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s success is easily the least surprising surprise of the 2009 season.<\/p>\n

Runners up: The U.S. being eliminated by Japan in the WBC, Eric Bedard\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s 2.58 ERA a year removed from his big contract and the media spotlight<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The American Government \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Worst run organization\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Award<\/strong> is presented to the New York Mets.\u00c2\u00a0 If I have learned anything from watching \u00e2\u20ac\u015324,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s that the organizations charged with running and protecting America have more leaks than Johnny Depp\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s boat in the beginning of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Pirates of the Caribbean.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 This season, hundreds of traitors corrupted every level of the government, from senators\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 aids to FBI analysts.\u00c2\u00a0 Clearly, the civil service exams need to be a little stricter.<\/p>\n

As for the Mets, the injury bug bit this team like it was drenched in sugar water, but that does not excuse the play of the replacement players.\u00c2\u00a0 When a young call-up finds himself on major league turf, he must, above all else, play fundamentally sound baseball.\u00c2\u00a0 He may not hit like Carlos Beltran or run like Jose Reyes, but he should be able to grind out at-bats, intelligently run the bases, and throw to the correct base.\u00c2\u00a0 The Mets don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do any of those things.\u00c2\u00a0 When young players in an organization screw up the basics of the game, the coaches and general manager have to shoulder some of that responsibility.\u00c2\u00a0 Right now, everyone in the Mets organization is pointing fingers at one another, while the team continues its swan dive out of playoff contention.<\/p>\n

Runners up: Nationals, Pirates\u00c2\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The Chloe O’Brien \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Best support staff\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Award<\/strong> is presented to Rick Peterson for his work with Scott Kazmir.\u00c2\u00a0 Before Kazmir went on the DL and worked with Peterson, the 25-year-old pitcher was 4-4 with a 7.69 ERA while recording 35 strikeouts to 29 walks.\u00c2\u00a0 A.P.\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthat is After Peterson\u00e2\u20ac\u201dKazmir has made two starts, going a hard luck 0-1 with a 2.70 ERA and an 11:2 strikeout to walk ratio.\u00c2\u00a0 Where would Kazmir be without Peterson?\u00c2\u00a0 Probably the same place Jack Bauer would be without Chloe at the computer.<\/p>\n

Runner up: Nick Swisher<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The Morris O’Brien \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Most dubious support staff\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Award<\/strong> is bestowed upon the Mets\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 <\/a>training staff.\u00c2\u00a0 They just can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t keep anybody on the field.\u00c2\u00a0 Injuries include: J.J. Putz, John Maine, Oliver Perez, Carlos Delgado, Jose Reyes, and Carlos Beltran.\u00c2\u00a0 In almost every case, the medical staff pushed the players back onto the field before they were ready, resulting in more serious injuries.\u00c2\u00a0 Omar Minaya now has too many holes to plug, and he probably wishes he could disappear like Morris in the middle of the season.<\/p>\n

Runners up: Washington Nationals\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 bullpen<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The Jon Voight \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I can’t believe they’re paying me that much to sleepwalk through a majority of this season\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Award<\/strong> is given to Grady Sizemore (.231, 11 HR, 8 SB), Kerry Wood <\/a>(5.08 ERA, 2-3, 4 BS), and really anyone on the Indians whose name does not rhyme with \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bin Boo Moo\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bliff Bee.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 Voight wandered through a majority of the season squinting, clenching his jaw, and basically giving the same performance he gave in \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Enemy of the State\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Varsity Blues.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 If \u00e2\u20ac\u015324\u00e2\u20ac\u009d had been an episode of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153SNL,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Voight would have been the actor that emotionlessly reads the cue cards, while the cast members desperately scramble to salvage the show.<\/p>\n

Through 84 games, the Indians are 33-51, rank 9th in the AL in batting average, 13th in opponent batting average and opponent OPS, and 14th in ERA, saves, and quality starts.\u00c2\u00a0 How many more losses until Kerry Wood and Cliff Lee go on the DL with \u00e2\u20ac\u0153shoulder stiffness\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153tendonitis?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 5?\u00c2\u00a0 10?\u00c2\u00a0 Less?<\/p>\n

Runner up: Milton Bradley<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The Kim Bauer’s flaming sleeve \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Moment where we stretched credulity to the limit\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/a>Award<\/strong> goes to the Manny Ramirez PED saga.\u00c2\u00a0 Whether she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s being stalked by a cougar in season two, inexplicably working for CTU in season 3, or being chased by the actor that played the casino manager in ESPN\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Tilt,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Elisha Cuthbert\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Kim Bauer never disappoints.\u00c2\u00a0 Her presence derails a season.\u00c2\u00a0 Always.<\/p>\n

Manny\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s failure of a drug test and subsequent suspension pushed the story of PED use in the Major Leagues into new territory.\u00c2\u00a0 Just like Kim Bauer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s presence, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re no longer outraged by stories of PED use, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re just sort of tired of it and wish it would go away.\u00c2\u00a0 While Manny\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s suspension came with its own intrigue, in that he was allowed to spend a 10-day \u00e2\u20ac\u0153rehab\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/a>assignment in the minors (I still don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know what he was rehabbing), not a whole lot was settled.\u00c2\u00a0 He still gets paid to play baseball.\u00c2\u00a0 He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll still be booed on road trips.\u00c2\u00a0 He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll still be cheered in L.A.\u00c2\u00a0 And we won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know anything about his place in history until five years after he retires.<\/p>\n

Perhaps what enraged me the most about the whole situation was the discovery that Homer Simpson\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hunger strike<\/a> was ultimately in vain, and that the Isotopes had in fact moved from Springfield to Albuquerque.<\/a><\/p>\n

Runner up: New Yankee Stadium<\/em><\/strong> there have been 142 HR hit in Yankee stadium through 7\/6…there were 160 hit all of last season<\/p>\n

Follow Josh Deitch on Twitter<\/a>.\u00c2\u00a0 Tune in tomorrow for Part 2.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We’ve reached the halfway point of the season and it’s time to dole out some awards.\u00c2\u00a0 Jack Bauer and the rest of “24” help the writer out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":53,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1367","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1367","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/53"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1367"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1367\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1367"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1367"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1367"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}