{"id":3293,"date":"2010-03-11T21:30:20","date_gmt":"2010-03-11T21:30:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.seamheads.com\/?p=3293"},"modified":"2010-03-11T21:30:20","modified_gmt":"2010-03-11T21:30:20","slug":"naming-wrongs-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/2010\/03\/11\/naming-wrongs-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Naming Wrongs"},"content":{"rendered":"

Shortly after I started working at the Hall of Fame library, I discovered a wonderful book published in the 1990s by Peter Filichia, titled Professional Baseball Franchises.<\/em> It lists every minor-league team from the 1880s forward, including nicknames, league affiliations, classifications, renamings, and years of existence. It is indispensable for locating where people played, which we are often asked to do in the library.<\/p>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also a very entertaining book because of those nicknames, many of which are dandies. Today a big issue is \u00e2\u20ac\u0153naming rights,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d the policy of major-league franchises selling out to corporations who put their names on ballparks whose identities used to be linked with important people. For instance, Mets fans, instead of taking their kids to a stadium named for the man (William Shea) who brought the majors back to the National League, they can all go to a stadium named after a company that took $200 million in federal bailout money and used a good chunk of it to put a sign on a building.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m here to talk about something else, which I call \u00e2\u20ac\u0153naming wrongs\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. I have scoured Filichia\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s book and some more recent sources to find the most ridiculous nicknames for minor-league teams. Most raise the question \u00e2\u20ac\u0153what the hell were they thinking?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Ideally, a team\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nickname presents an image of stalwart, formidable competitors, or at least trumpets some aspect of the city\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s civic pride. The name should be positive, strong, and somehow resonant with the players\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (presumed) desire to take on any opposition and fight for victory with all their energy.<\/p>\n

However, Filichia\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s book is replete with examples of teams that couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t conceive of the notion of trying to intimidate the opposition, and cities whose civic identity involved the self-absorbed myopia of modest aspirations. What am I saying? Their nicknames sucked. Many of them existed in the period from 1890-1920, when lots of leagues and teams came and went and were seemingly named by their owner\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s whim, but there are plenty of recent examples. Sometimes a whole league was apparently populated by teams trying to outdo each other in strangeness. A recent example is the 1997 South Atlantic League and its odd menagerie of teams, including the Shorebirds, Sand Gnats, Boll Weevils, Alley Cats, Bats, Crocs, River Dogs, and Crawdads. Going way back, how would like to go on a road trip in the 1902 Missouri Valley League and face these teams: the Nevada Lunatics, the Jefferson City Convicts, and the Iola Gasbags?<\/p>\n

In making my list of favorite nicknames, I chose only unique names. If more than one team used a nickname, it was disqualified, which eliminated a team that used to exist not far from Cooperstown, the Johnstown-Amsterdam-Gloversville Hyphens. Other dandies that had to be discarded included the Goobers, Gassers, Infants, Smoke Eaters, and Cannibals. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve divided my finds into groups, presented here in no particular order. As you read them, ask yourself \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If this team came to my town, would I be scared of them or laugh at them?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

WEIRD MENAGERIE
\nLafayette Brahman Bulls
\nPocomoke City Salamanders
\nPoughkeepsie Honey Bugs
\nDenison Katydids
\nWinston-Salem Warthogs
\nBatavia Muckdogs
\nPortland Sea Dogs
\nPiedmont Dry Bugs
\nOmaha Omahogs
\nErie Sea Wolves<\/p>\n

BAD HABITS
\nSterling Rag Chewers
\nAkron Rubbernecks
\nGreen Bay Duck Wallopers
\nFort Dodge Gypsumeaters
\nCorsicana Gumbo Busters
\nRegina Bonepilers
\nSt. Joseph Clay Eaters<\/p>\n

DON\u00e2\u20ac\u2122T INVITE THEM TO DINNER
\nLaCross Outcasts
\nBridgeport Misfits
\nJacksonville Lunatics
\nIola Gasbags
\nPaterson Intruders
\nRockford Indignants
\nWaycross Blowhards
\nYork Yahoos<\/p>\n

INTIMIDATORS\u00e2\u20ac\u201dNOT!
\nTroy Washerwomen
\nBloomington Suckers
\nBluffton Dregs
\nHopewell Powder Puffs
\nCentralia Zeros
\nMcAlester Sighs
\nOakland Monday Models
\nNorwich Bonbons
\nMuncie Fruit Jars<\/p>\n

AGAINST THE LAW
\nOmaha Kidnappers
\nNorth Wilkesboro Flashers
\nSalina Insurgents
\nAsheville Moonshiners
\nAdrian Yeggs
\nGraham Hijackers<\/p>\n

POLITICALLY INCORRECT
\nCanton Chinks
\nTarboro Tarbabies
\nLawton Medicine Men
\nCanon City Swastikas<\/p>\n

GET A BETTER JOB!
\nAmericus Pallbearers
\nBeatrice Milkskimmers
\nNazareth Cement Dusters
\nVancouver Horse Doctors
\nKirksville Osteopaths<\/p>\n

NOT-SO-GREAT BUFFET
\nKalamazoo Celery Eaters
\nLebanon Pretzel Eaters
\nBay City Rice Eaters
\nSanford Celeryfeds<\/p>\n

JUST PLAIN STRANGE (how did they even think of these as baseball teams?)
\nHartford Wooden Nutmegs
\nMemphis Fever Germs
\nLowell Bingling Pans
\nWaterloo Microbes
\nAlbuquerque Isotopes
\nFreeport Comeons
\nSaginaw Wa-Was
\nOttumwa Standpatters
\nSacramento Gilt Edges
\nWorcester Riddles<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve saved my Top 10 favorites for last. Some of these names have specific stories behind them, like the 1891 outbreak of violence at a Pittsburgh steel mill owned by Andrew Carnegie (#3). Some are backed up by logic; you say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153sure\u00e2\u20ac\u009d but still wonder why someone tagged a ballclub with them (#7). Some just make you scratch your head (#4). Put yourself in the players\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 places. Did they write home to their families and declare \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m so proud to be a _______\u00e2\u20ac\u009d? Here they are, counting down from #10 to my all-time favorite:<\/p>\n

#10: Rancho Cucamonga Quakes (located on California\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s earthquake fault-line, they do play in the park with the coolest name, the Epicenter)
\n#9: Lansing Lugnuts (oooh, scary!)
\n#8: Bonham Boogers (would you even want to tag them out?)
\n#7: Zanesville Flood Sufferers (an odd source of civic pride)
\n#6: Schenectady Frog Alley Bunch (enter at your own risk)
\n#5: Hoquiam Perfect Gentlemen (except for all that tobacco spit)
\n#4: Taylorville Taylored Commies (played in 1910, before The Revolution)
\n#3: Shenandoah Hungarian Rioters (some claim to fame!)
\n#2: Lincoln Missing Links (the opposition made monkeys out of them)
\n#1: Minot Why-Nots (why not indeed? North Dakota\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s finest)<\/p>\n

Gabriel Schechter grew up within ten miles of the Polo Grounds and Yankee Stadium, is a lifelong Reds fan, and once attended games in Los Angeles and San Diego on the same day. Since 2002 he has been a Research Associate at the library of the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, and is the author of <\/em>Victory Faust: The Rube Who Saved McGraw\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Giants<\/a>; Unhittable: Baseball\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Greatest Pitching Seasons<\/a>; and This BAD Day in Yankees History<\/a>, as well as the blog Never Too Much Baseball<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shortly after I started working at the Hall of Fame library, I discovered a wonderful book published in the 1990s by Peter Filichia, titled Professional Baseball Franchises. It lists every minor-league team from the 1880s forward, including nicknames, league affiliations, classifications, renamings, and years of existence. It is indispensable for locating where people played, which […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":722,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[4430,3277,2724,1626,4433,4428,4426,935,21230,4423,121,827,2274,4432,4425,4429,4431,112,4427,4424],"class_list":["post-3293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-1880s","tag-aspirations","tag-bailout","tag-ballparks","tag-chunk","tag-civic-identity","tag-civic-pride","tag-franchises","tag-hall-of-fame","tag-league-affiliations","tag-major-league","tag-majors","tag-mets-fans","tag-minor-league-team","tag-minor-league-teams","tag-myopia","tag-nicknames","tag-professional-baseball","tag-replete-with-examples","tag-william-shea"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/722"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3293"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3293\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seamheads.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}