September 25, 2021

The Seattle Mariners, a mystery off the field

August 13, 2010 by · Leave a Comment 

The Mariners get a day to rest before starting a series with the Cleveland Indians tomorrow so there is no need for my usual ranting about the dismal state of this fading season. Instead I thought I would talk a little about the players themselves and their lives off the field. Of course being that I am simply a blogger and have no access to the players outside of my brief interactions in spring training, much of my profiles will have to be speculative. It is also difficult to keep track of exactly who has been on the 25 man roster at times this year, as well as the coaching staff which has recently undergone a major transformation, but I will do my best.

There was a time in America say 30-40 years ago that the fans in a city with a major league team were fascinated with the lives of their hometown heroes down to the smallest details. Of course this was before twitter, facebook, free agency and the infamous short attention span of the average fan. Guys like Willie Mays used to play stickball with the kids in his neighborhood in New York in the early 50’s and players actually lived in the cities they played for and were embraced in a much less cynical manner than the current scenario. But we are here now in 2010 with a team playing for the Seattle Mariners that really we know little about, and since no one else in the media seems to be trying to figure out who these guys really are off the playing field I thought I would give it a shot.

Ok well the first mystery guy is the new manager Daren Brown. Daren strikes me as a nice guy who probably hunts a little in the offseason and though not quite your average Texan in his political views, I think it is fair to say he won’t be moving to Wallingford soon to be around like- minded progressives. Daren played some ball and his father and uncle did as well so I imagine he has some sort of memorabilia collection, and has a fair but not extensive historical knowledge of the game dating back at least to the 60’s.

Next we will take a look at another relative newcomer Brian Sweeney. Sweeney seems like an earnest guy who has been around the block and judging from his accent likes Italian food. While not attempting to stereo type, I hear he likes Mafia movies and probably has a hot wife who has stuck with Brian through all the ups and downs on his road to his current role as a multipurpose reliever for the Mariners.

Josh Bard is about as difficult guy to read as possible due to his rather bland personality and demeanor (a common theme with this club unfortunately) but I do have a gut feeling he rides a Harley and like heavy metal music.

Josh Wilson the “Paper boy” strikes me as the intellectual type who quite possibly is a sharp dresser and a bit of a ladies man. Josh also looks like he could enjoy surfing and perhaps like to fiddle around with computers in his never ending quest to figure out things.

Then there are the boys from Venezuela Jose Lopez and Felix Hernandez as well as the heart throb Franklin Gutierrez. Jose obviously enjoys food, the spicier the better. He fancies himself as a fashion icon and sports a large wardrobe of flashy clothes and likes jewelry to go with his flamboyant style. Gutierrez on the other hand tends to favor poetry and has a deep appreciation for family, his roots and being adored by women all over the world. King Felix is just starting to grow-up this season and is undergoing a transformation of sorts from a brash kid to a national hero at home and here in Seattle. King Felix is studying stand-up comedy in the offseason as he looks to do some television and movie work as he goes along in order to bolster the image he is creating for his adoring subjects. Felix does have a soft spot for his mother and also has a pet cat called you guessed it “ Felix the Cat”

Chone Figgins is a mystery guy, but don’t let those brooding eyes fool you he is quite a funny guy and is a student of politics. Chone plays the saxophone and at one time considered giving up baseball to form his own band of hipster vanguard jazz players in Paris, but could not handle the idea of not playing baseball every day even in an odd town like Seattle.

Casey Kotchman is a secret fan of the show “Deadliest Catch” as he is the strong silent type. His great-grandfather was a military hero in WWI and Casey along with Edgar Martinez votes Republican though he and his wife are friendly decent people. Casey would make a good neighbor as he is the kind of guy though not flashy, can fix anything.

Ichiro is perhaps the most elusive and guarded of the bunch. Besides baseball Ichiro spends time cultivating a large assortment of exotic plants in greenhouses spread out all over the world. His clothing line can be seen on the backs of the numerous hip young Japanese fans that travel to Safeco each year to watch their idol. Ichiro plans on using his considerable celebrity status and wealth to put together a TV show when he retires. Ichiro plans on using his new show entitled “Ichiknows” in order to contemplate issues facing modern Japan and has been secretly discussing the details of his show with Oprah!

So that is all I have for now, feel free to fill-in the blanks with any players I have missed or if you have managed to scrape-up any tidbits of information on this assortment of characters we have on our TV’s nightly. I am sure some of my insights may be a little off-base but as an expansion-blogger I am still working on getting my foot in the door with these guys who have maybe not endeared us this year, but have certainly left an impression on us!

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